There is often nothing funnier than capturing a facial expression or occurrence at the right time, or, should we say, the most inopportune time.

I challenge you, loyal readers, to view the picture below and provide a captivating caption that will cause “the shores a-crowding” with “people all exulting.” Should you provide the wittiest of captions, for you the flag will be flung and the bugles will trill.

In honor of the 2010 NFL season and the end of Brett Favre as we know him (hopefully), this week we’ll visit the current Super Bowl MVP, Aaron Rodgers, and his old Packer mentor. This picture is obviously a few NFL seasons removed, but after Favre’s final and tumultuous season and the dominant playoff run Rodgers just completed, I couldn’t help but cackle upon seeing it. Have fun with this one:

You’ve got the context, now make like the father of free verse and create the best caption you can in the comments below.

There is often nothing funnier than capturing a facial expression or occurrence at the right time, or, should we say, the most inopportune time.

I challenge you, loyal readers, to view the picture below and provide a captivating caption that will cause “the shores a-crowding” with “people all exulting.” Should you provide the wittiest of captions, for you the flag will be flung and the bugles will trill.

This week, we have Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre and his lovely wife, Deanna.

Photo: Simon Bruty/SI

You’ve got the context, now make like the father of free verse and create the best caption you can in the comments below.

By TLarner

Are you ready for some football? After a thrilling Saturday of college ball, the 2010 NFL regular season begins September 12th with a full slate of hard-hitting action.

Ragin’ Cajun

We all got a taste of the grid iron on Thursday with the Saints topping Brett’s Vikings at the Superdome 14-9. Favre went 15-27 for 171 yards, one touchdown, and one interception. I said the Vikings would need a big game from Adrian Peterson if they wanted to win, and while Peterson had a game high 87 yards rushing, he was held out of the end zone. Without his top wide out Sidney Rice, tight end Visanthe Shiancoe stepped up as Favre’s number one target with four grabs for 76 yards and a touchdown. Favre’s pick came on a poor throw while being tackled by Saints’ safety Roman Harper. New Orleans’ defense looks to have improved from last season, as they held Minnesota to only 253 total yards. Jonathan Vilma came away with the interception, and Sedrick Ellis recorded his first sack of the year. Drew Brees threw for 237 yards and a score to Devery Henderson in the first quarter to take an early lead. Pierre Thomas finished with 71 yards and a rushing touchdown after seeing very few carries in the first half. Marques Colston had five catches for 62 yards, and Reggie Bush added 47 total yards. Kicker Garrett Hartley missed two field goals that could have padded the Saints’ lead.

Notes from around the league

Cincinnati defensive end Antwan Odom will play Sunday against the Patriots. Odom tested positive for a banned substance, but says the substance is in a prescription medication. No suspension is expected to be handed down.

After getting in an accident early Thursday morning, Tom Brady will have plenty of extra cash for a fleet of new cars. The New England quarterback just signed a four-year, $72 million extension, making him the highest paid player in the NFL. He was also elected a team captain.

49ers tight end Vernon Davis also signed a contract extension. The Pro Bowler agreed to a five-year deal worth $37 million.

Seattle Seahawk’s sixth overall pick Russell Okung will miss at least the first week with a high ankle sprain he suffered during the preseason.

Offensive lineman Kevin Mawae announced his retirement Friday. The 16-year veteran was unable to find a team to play for after his contract with the Titans ended this offseason. Mawae helped pave the way for Chris Johnson to rush for 2,006 yards in 2009. He also blocked for former Jets star running back Curtis Marin while in New York. Mawae was elected to eight Pro Bowls. He is also the President of the NFL Players Association. He turns 40 in January.

Game of the Week: Dallas at Washington

My Game of the Week for the start of the regular season is the Dallas Cowboys at the Washington Redskins. First off, it’s a game between NFC East division rivals. Washington Head Coach Mike Shanahan makes his return to the NFL. Redskin’s quarterback Donovan McNabb makes his first start since being traded to Washington from division opponent Philadelphia. Dallas wants to make an early statement, proving they are the favorites to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. Receiver Miles Austin, who has just given a six-year, $54 million contract extension, looks to build off his breakout season in 2009.

Key Matchup: Andre Carter & Brian Orakpo vs. Alex Barron & Doug Free

Dallas has suffered from some injuries along their offensive line. Left guard Kyle Kosier and right tackle Marc Colombo will both be out on Sunday. Alex Barron will replace Colombo, and Montrae Holland will fill in for Kosier. Barron was signed from St. Louis, and was expected to compete with Free for the starting left tackle job, but quickly proved to be a disappointment at training camp. I’m interested in seeing how Barron and Free can handle the pass rush of Washington’s two outside linebackers, Carter and Orakpo. As the Redskins switch to a 3-4, I expect this duo will cause more havoc for opposing QB’s. Each had 11 sacks last season, Carter as an end and Orakpo at linebacker. Tony Romo may find himself using his feet to escape the pressure, which he has proven he can do.

Best of the Rest

Looking at the rest of this weekend’s games, here is a list of my predictions (team in italics is home):

• Tampa Bay over Cleveland
• Miami over Buffalo
• Cincinnati over New England
• Colts over Houston
• Jacksonville over Denver
• Atlanta over the Steelers
• Titans over Oakland
• NY Giants over Carolina
• Chicago over Detroit
• Arizona over St. Louis
• Philadelphia over Green Bay
• 49ers over Seattle

Monday’s games:

• NY Jets over Baltimore
• San Diego over the Chiefs

Got any NFL Splinters? Share them here.

Courtesy of vikings.com

By TLarner

Here’s a look into the NFC North, and yes, Brett is back!

“If it doesn’t matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?”

Chicago Bears

Strength- If the Chicago Bears plan on being a force in the NFC North, their defense will have to return the dominate form they played a few years ago. Chicago has some pieces in the right place to have a strong defense. With the addition of defensive end Julius Peppers, opposing quarterbacks may find themselves on their backs more in 2010. Peppers should improve a defense which was tied for 13^th in the league with 35 sacks. Peppers is the all-time leader in sacks, forced fumbles, and blocked kicks for Carolina in his eight years with the team. The five time Pro Bowler has recorded double-digit sack totals in six of his eight years. He’ll line up with former Defensive Player of the Year Brian Urlacher. Urlacher missed all of last season after suffering from a dislocated wrist. Currently nursing a groin injury, he should be geared up and ready to go when the regular season starts. On the outside, corner Zack Bowman had an outstanding second season in 2009. He was tied for fifth in the league with six picks. These three defensive leaders look to bring the Bears back to the postseason.

Weakness- The Bears do not exactly have the most gifted bunch of wide receivers. Devin Hester made a name for himself as a kick returner with his blazing speed. In 2006, Hester had two kick return and three punt return TD’s (took opening kick all the way in Super Bowl XLI). In ’07, he had two more kick return and 4 punt return scores. Since then, he has changed from a corner to receiver and hasn’t scored on any returns. He caught three touchdowns and 757 yards in 2009. Behind Hester, guys like Johnny Knox, Devin Aromashodu, Earl Bennett, Jacqiun Iglesias, and rookie Greg Matthews fill out the depth chart. Neither of those guys has more than three or four years experience. As they get older and get more practice, these guys may develop into offensive playmakers. Until then, they are better off on special teams.

Biggest Question- Can new offensive coordinator Mike Martz teach Jay Cutler the tools he needs to become a successful quarterback? Martz is known for work as the coordinator for the “Greatest Show on Turf” with the St. Louis Rams, who won the Super Bowl in 1999. He hopes he can turn Cutler into the next Kurt Warner. In 1999, Warner threw for over 4,300 yards and 41 touchdowns. Cutler’s struggles in Chicago were well documented after he was traded from Denver for two first round draft picks and QB Kyle Orton. Cutler had a 76.7 passer rating, with a league high 26 interceptions, and was sacked 35 times. He was not comfortable in the Bears’ offense, and was not on the same page as his receivers. Chicago fans hope Martz can work his magic and reinvent Cutler as a QB, and also restore life in running back Matt Forte. After an outstanding rookie season with over 1,200 rushing yards and eight touchdowns, Forte had only 929 yards and four scores in 2009.

Detroit Loins

Strength- Detroit is one of those teams where you may question what their upside may be, but they have potential with a core group of young, talented players. If the Lions want to win, Matthew Stafford will have to improve off his rookie year. In his 10 starts, Stafford threw for 2,267 yards, 13 touchdowns, and 20 picks. If he can control the ball and reduce the turnovers, the former 1st overall pick can have a successful 2010. His biggest game can against Cleveland in Week 11. Both teams had an offensive explosion, and Stafford threw for 5 touchdowns, including the game winner on an untimed down following pass interference in the end zone. Also on the same play as the penalty, Stafford took a big hit, and injured his left shoulder. He stayed in to throw the winning TD to fellow rookie Brandon Pettigrew. Pettigrew is another young player looking to mature in 2010. He caught 346 yards and two touchdowns as a rookie in 2009. Lining up outside him is Calvin Johnson Jr., one of the best receivers in the league. In his three seasons with the Lions, Johnson Jr. has 3,071 yards and 21 touchdowns. Don’t forget running backs Kevin Smith and rookie Jahvid Best, who both are looking forward to big seasons.

Weakness- As the old adage goes, defense wins championships. Having no defense will get you two wins, and the second overall pick in the draft, which is exactly what happened to the Lions in ’09. Detroit gave up the most points in the league, averaging 30.9 per game. They also gave up 392.1 yards per game, again the worst. They were 29th in sacks with 26, and 30th in interceptions with nine. Detroit’s leading tackler was linebacker Larry Foote with 99 tackles. Foote returned to Pittsburgh after only one year with the Lions. Free safety Louis Delmas had a great rookie year. He was second on the team with 94 tackles and also recorded two picks, taking one back for a score. The two biggest additions to the struggling defense were end Kyle Vanden Bosch and rookie tackle Ndamukong Suh. Vanden Bosch had 38.5 sacks in his five seasons in Tennessee. Suh was taken with Detroit’s second overall pick. Suh was the Big 12 Athlete of the Year, an All-American, and Heisman Finalist. His 57 tackles for loss at Nebraska ranks second in school history. These two lineman should help Detroit win some battles in the trenches.

Biggest Question- Can Detroit win more than two games? Seriously, what will it take for the Lions to have a successful season? They haven’t made the playoffs since 1999, and were 0-16 in 2008. For years, Detroit has been considered amongst the worst teams in the league. However, the players they’ve added might put them in the right direction. Delmas, Johnson Jr., Stafford, and Suh are all good players. Their recent drafts seem to be better than the 2003-’05 drafts, were Detroit took wide receivers in the first round for three straight years. Head Coach Jim Schwartz wants to turn the franchise around, or at least win enough games to keep his job. Remember when Arizona was a bottom feeder? With the right coaches, a few good drafts, and smart free agent signings, the Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl. Everyone wants to win now, but the Lions will have to look into the future as their young players develop into talented stars.

Green Bay Packers

Strength- The Green Bay Packers have one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL, Brett Favre… I mean Aaron Rodgers. It looks like the front office made a good decision when they let Favre go in favor of Rodgers. Don’t get me wrong, I love Brett, and I wish he could have finished his career as a Packer. However, you can’t argue with success. In his two seasons as a full time starter, Rodgers has thrown for 8,472 yards, 58 touchdowns, and has completed over 63% of his passes. His 103.2 passer rating was fourth in the league last season. He was tied for first with Donovan McNabb and Tony Romo with 17 plays of over 40 yards. Rodgers has also been rated among the top two or three fantasy QB’s for 2010. I often ignore preseason games, which are meaningless to the regular season, but Rodgers is hot through three preseason games, including a going 21-29 with 195 yards and three touchdowns against the Colts. Receivers Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, and tight end Jermichael Finley give Rodgers excellent targets to throw too. The Packers’ offense enters 2010 as one of the best.

Weakness- Over the past two seasons, Rodgers has been sacked 84 times. That’s not a number that an organization wants to see. The offensive line needs to protect the new face of the Green Bay franchise. In the first nine games of 2009, the line gave up 41 sacks. As the team made their run toward the playoffs, the line did lock down. The ground game was solid throughout 2009. Ryan Grant averaged 4.4 yards per carry as he ran for over 1,200 yards. Both veteran tackles return for 2010. Chad Clifton, 34, and Mark Tauscher, 33, both missed time last season. Clifton made 12 starts, but Tauscher only made eight. With their first round pick, Green Bay took tackle Bryan Bulaga out of Iowa. Bulaga has been practicing as both a tackle and guard in training camp. If Clifton and Tauscher remain healthy, Bulaga may find some playing time as a starting guard. Expect big things from the Packers if Rodgers can remain upright and Grant has room to run.

Biggest Question- Can Green Bay’s defense continue to perform at the level they did last season? In terms of yards allowed, Green Bay had the second best defense in the league, only behind the Jets. Their rushing defense was the best in the league, only allowing 83.3 yards per game on the ground. The Packers were tied with the Vikings for first place by allowing only five rushing touchdowns all regular season. Their passing defense was fifth overall, allowing 201.1 yards per game. Green Bay’s defense intercepted the ball a league high 30 times in ’09. If the Packers plan on making a Super Bowl run, their defense will have to remain as stout as they did last season. They did lose Aaron Kampman to Jacksonville. In his eight seasons as a Packer, Kampman recorded 54 sacks. Corner Al Harris is currently on the Physically Unable to Perform list. Harris had reconstructive knee surgery during the offseason. He failed to pass his physical this past week. If he is on the PUP list when the regular season starts, he’ll have to sit out the first six games. With their second and third round picks, Green Bay drafted lineman Mike Neal and safety Morgan Burnett. We’ll see how well the Packers can replace Kampman and Harris.

Minnesota Vikings

Strength- Minnesota also has a unyielding defense. The Vikings were sixth in total yards allowed with 305.5 per game. Their rushing defense was second only to Green Bay. They gave up 87.1 yards per game and the ground, and only five rushing touchdowns, tied with the Packers for fewest in ’09. They were also first in the league in quarterback sacks. Led by their Pro Bowl defensive end Jared Allen, the Vikings had 48 sacks. Allen was second in the league with 14.5. He also had a safety, an interception, forced five fumbles, and recovered three (one for a touchdown). The inside of the line is patrolled by Kevin and Pat Williams. While they’re not brothers, both 300+ pound tackles are great at stopping the run. Kevin also has 48.5 sacks in seven seasons as a Viking. To add to the mix up front, end Everson Griffen was drafted in the fourth round. To improve their secondary, Minnesota drafted corner Chris Cook with their first pick (34th overall). They also acquired former Pro Bowl corner Lito Sheppard. The Vikings’ defense should be among the best in the NFL again in 2010.

Weakness- Brett Favre had some great targets in 2009. However, 2010 may be a different story. The team’s leading receiver ,Sidney Rice, will miss at least half the season after undergoing hip surgery. Rice had 83 catches for 1,312 yards and eight touchdowns last season. The 2009 Offensive Rookie of the Year Percy Harvin has also battled injuries. Harvin has suffered from severe migraines throughout the offseason. He collapsed on the practice field during training camp, and was taken to the hospital. As a result, Harvin has missed significant time. Receiver and punt returner Jaymar Johnson will miss the entire season after being placed on injured reserve. Johnson broke his thumb during the preseason opener. The Vikings recently signed veteran Javon Walker. Walker played four seasons with Favre in Green Bay from 2002-’05. In 2008, Walker last saw action with the Raiders, catching 15 passes for 196 yards and a touchdown. The Vikings also traded corner Benny Sapp to Miami for receiver Greg Camarillo. In three seasons with Miami, Camarillo has 113 catches for 1,325 yards and four touchdowns. He also went all last season without a dropped pass. A depleted and injured receiving group will have to step up if Minnesota wants to return to the NFC Championship game.

Biggest Question- Brett Favre, isn’t he always our biggest offseason question? Well, we know for sure he is going to play in 2010. He says this is it, his last season, but we’ll wait until next offseason to argue that. The biggest problem Favre needed to overcome was his injured ankle. He underwent surgery during the offseason, but was behind on recovery, and wasn’t sure if he would be able to perform at a high level. Steve Hutchinson, Ryan Longwell, and Jared Allen took a short trip to Mississippi to recruit him, and now Favre is back. Exactly how well will he be able to play? Don’t expect the Favre of last season, arguably his best in his 20 year career. He threw for 4,202 yards and 33 touchdowns. His 68% completion rate was the highest of his career, and his seven interceptions was the lowest. I don’t expect him to see such a significant role in the offense this season, but he could surprise us again. I assume Adrian Peterson and rookie Toby Gerhart will do a lot of running this year. As for Brett, we never know what’s next.

Division Prediction- Starting at the bottom, Detroit will once again finish last in the division. I’m sure they’ll win more than two games, but not enough to pass Chicago for third. The Bears have a .500 team. I don’t expect them to surprise anyone. The NFC North will be decided between Green Bay and Minnesota. The Vikings will make the playoffs if Favre does well again, however, I see them getting in as a wildcard. Green Bay should have an outstanding season. Rodgers has improved every year since he took over, and I expect him to continue to get better, if that’s possible. The Packers are one of the favorites to not only win the North, but also to make it to the Super Bowl.

by Bill Ribas

It’d be interesting to have been a fly on the wall when Favre was confronted by a few teammates and questioned on his career, and would he be coming back, or was this going to get ugly. I wonder though, just how did Favre get so important that his pals in purple had to stage an intervention to get him back on the field? Or was this just another heavily scripted move?

Now that might be a hasty thought, because, really, who benefits from the attention of the press? Unless Favre opens a chain of waffle houses, in which case, the potential is enormous. But in the day to day world, has there ever been so much concern over a yes or no question? Yeah, well, excluding shows like “The Bachelor”, but you at least know there you’re getting strung along for a payoff.

The only angle I can see here is ego, about the size of a wheel of cheese, but one that also has horns sticking out of it. Because there is no shortage of stories about the NFL, like TO & Ochocinco, to name one, and there have to be tons. But for some reason, the media hangs their hat on Favre, and his decision. Or non decision. Or waffling. It’s just sooo confusing.

One thing that’s not so confusing is the future of Francisco Rodriguez. After an altercation with his father-in-law, a long cooling off period at the gulag known as Citifield, an arraignment, and a hasty surgery, he’ll be sidelined for the rest of the year. The Mets have placed him on the DQ list (that’s disqualified, not Dairy Queen), and are looking to get out of paying him for nothing. And while I’m usually against management (such as the Yankees begging for 400 million in public assistance for their stadium, while at the same time signing two players for that amount), this time I am with them. I mean, this is more than just your average workman’s comp issue. While Rodriguez got into it with his father-in-law (and anyone who is married knows how short a fuse can be in an instance like that), it is the domestic abuse laws that come into play, because he had to be taken into custody regardless of the victim’s wishes (and I don’t know whether the dad of his girlfriend wanted to cut him loose or not). And that’s a factor that will certainly affect the outcome when negotiations get underway.

What is at stake here, aside from K-Rod’s salary, could be a serious attack on the player’s union, and sports agents as well, or it could just be a precedent setting case that favors the owners. I am sure there is nothing owners love more than paying players who don’t perform up to their abilities or history (paging Mo Vaughn, etc.), but here is a case where an incident happened outside of the game, rendered a player useless, and why should the team suffer from it? In the case of the Mets, the last thing they need this year is a kick to their collective frank and beans. Last year’s injury riddled season is long gone but not forgotten, and this year’s inability to score despite some better than average pitching (18 shutouts so far, or Santana’s sub 2.0 era in his last 9 games or so) has been painful enough. Now, the top dog you signed to close out games has anger management issues, and messed up his thumb beating an in-law? Sheesh, what’s next, Favre saying he’s coming to the National league to pitch?

Yet perhaps the biggest story of the week was Dustin Johnson being penalized for grounding his club in a hazard. Touching the ground with his club, yeah, well, you can just feel the hair on my neck bristling at a heretical action such as this. Can you imagine? How exactly, does a rule like this, which probably came about some time during the renaissance, cause a two-stroke penalty? If you’re going to enforce a rule such as this, please enact an equally stupid one fining players for garish displays of polyester. What an utterly meaningless rule that cost this kid a crack at a title. I mean, if you thought that blown safe call that nixed a perfect game a while back was ridiculous, this one definitely tops it.

Golf fans have always bothered me, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the exclusivity, maybe the bad clothes, maybe it’s the need for authenticity that requires a British commentator on the tee vee, I mean, I get it, I get the game, but when I hear some announcer pining about just what a severe course this is, or how tough it is, I check out. But what I really want to know, was who called in this observation? Who made the call to the PGA officials, saying, “look, this guy’s club touched the ground, and uh, that’s against the rules. I gotta go before you trace this line.” Of course, I have my suspicions about that caller, and my guess is his name is Favre. Remember – ego; it’s all about the ego. And if Favre does start his waffle chain restaurants, their slogan could be, “Let go of my ego.” That’s assuming he makes up his mind. Or not.

"Shoot at the middle rim."

By Patrick ‘Rey’ Reynell

Sarah Palin, former Governor of Alaska and vice-presidential candidate, has caught some criticism at a recent convention for apparently writing notes on her left hand. Who knows what she really recorded on the all-natural notepad. Perhaps some notes to not forget in her speech or maybe just a reminder of what to do or not to do.

This got me thinking about athletes and their struggles in front of the microphone. Some could use their own notes so they stop putting their figurative foot in their mouth, while others could use some reminders to not repeat bad behavior. So I wonder: what notes and reminders would some athletes write on their palms?

Shaquille O’Neal, Cleveland Cavaliers center at the free throw line: “Shoot at the rim in the middle.”

Jim Caldwell, Indianapolis Colts coach: “Game face at all times.”

Greg Oden, Portland Trail Blazers center: “Don’t tick off former g/fs w/ cameras.”

Danica Patrick, newest NASCAR driver: “Walk away from ‘rear-ending’ jokes.”

Alexander Ovechkin, Washington Capitals: “Do NOT forget front tooth today.”

Rick Barnes, University of Texas basketball coach: “Call NCAA about Kevin’s eligibility.”

John Wall, University of Kentucky freshman point guard: “I love playing for Coach Cal.”

Larry Drew, UNC point guard: “Order transcripts for transfer.”

Roy Williams, UNC basketball coach: “Order transcripts for Larry Drew.”

John Terry, Chelsea and England national team midfielder: “Stop answering Victoria Beckham’s calls.”

Pete Rose, MLB all-time hits leader: “Deny Deny Deny … ‘I’m sorry.’”

Mark McGwire, former single season HR record holder: “I’m not here to talk about the past.”

Tiger Woods, pro golfer: Right hand: “I’m here to talk about golf” Left Hand: “Don’t answer John Terry’s calls.”

Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings QB: “I ________ be back.”

Pete Carroll, Seattle Seahawks coach: “Call Calipari – thank him for advice.”

Got any additions? Let ‘The Pine’ hear ‘em!

AP Photo/Dave Martin

By Paul Gotham

Born on a bayou

Rumors of the Saints’ demise proved untrue. So too did the rumors that New Orleans lacks a defense.

Reggie Bush brought the wood. Drew Brees reminded Saints fans of what he is capable. Jeremy Shockey returned to the lineup, and the Saints’ defense made like some “old hound dog barkin.’ Chasin’ down a hoodoo there.”

Bush pounded out 217 all-purpose yards and became the first player since Charlie Taylor, in 1947, to rush for a touchdown and to return a punt for touchdown in the same post-season game. Bush led the Saints on to the field carrying a baseball bat with the inscription: “Bring the wood” – the Saints rally cry.

Brees threw for three touchdowns for the first time since a 26-23 win over Atlanta on December 13th.  He hooked up with Shockey mid-way through the first quarter and the Saints never looked back from there. The Purdue grad later connected with Devery Henderson and Marques Colston.

Those expecting this game to resemble a shootout were surprised when the Saint defense clipped the Cardinals’ wings. Arizona managed just 14 points on 359 total yards. One week after scoring 51, the Cardinals offense met a stronger force in the Saints D. Arizona’s defense surrendered 90 points in two playoff games.

Arizona added to their own misfortune with two turnovers.

New Orleans moves on for a chance to bring Cajun country its first Super Bowl appearance.

“Wish I was back on the bayou rollin’ with some Cajun Queen. Wish I were a freight train, oh just a chooglin’ on down to New Orleans.”

Call me lightning

Like New Orleans, the Colts shook off any signs of rust. Indy’s offense did just enough. Their defense did more than enough, and the offense might have made the defensive play of the game.

For 25+ minutes the Colts and Ravens stood deadlocked at three. Indy’s offense, which showed a quick strike ability all season, resorted to an old-fashioned 14-play drive that took eight minutes. The result: a ten-yard touchdown pass from Peyton Manning to Austin Collie.

Then, just when the Ravens thought they would go into halftime within striking distance, Manning and the Colts struck like lightning.

Indy grabbed a 17-3 lead at half with an eight-play, 64 -yard drive in 83 seconds culminating with a Manning to Reggie Wayne touchdown.

Baltimore looked poised for a comeback when Ed Reed picked off a Manning pass and returned the ball deep into Colts territory. It was at this point, the Colts offense made the defense play of the game. Looking more like a defensive back than a wide receiver, Pierre Garcon chopped the ball from Reed, and Indy recovered on its own 24 yard line. Reed intercepted another Manning pass on the same drive. That pick was nullified by a penalty.

Indy added an insurance field goal early in the fourth.

One week after scoring 33 points in a rout of New England, the Ravens offense managed little against the Indy defense. Ray Rice ran for 83 yards on the opening play of the New England game. Indy held the Ravens to 87 yards rushing for the game.  After their first drive of 15 plays, Baltimore longest drive consisted of just six plays as Indy frustrated the Ravens all day.

“You can’t catch me I’m as fast as can be. Call me lightning I’m as fast as can be.”

Purple haze

Dallas entered play Sunday with the league’s second-rated offense. The Cowpokes left the game thinking “lately things just don’t seem the same.”

Brett Favre threw for four touchdowns, and the Minnesota defense drowned Tony Romo in a sea or purple.

Favre connected with Sidney Rice three times as Minnesota pounded Dallas, 34-3.

The 21st century Viking defense reminded fans of the ‘Purple People Eaters’ as they sacked Romo six times, forced two fumbles, and picked off one Romo pass.

Gerald Sensabaugh might have provided the best representation of the ‘Pokes ineptitude. With a 45-yard pass from Favre hanging in the air, and the entire state of Texas yelling – “SEE THE BALL,” Sensabaugh stared at Rice, and pigskin floated over his shoulder for a catch and touchdown.

“Purple haze all in my eyes. Don’t know if it’s day or night. You’ve got me blowin’, blowin’ my mind. Is it tomorrow? Or just the end of time?”

Reason to believe

Sexy Rexy Ryan and his Gang Green crashed yet another party. With all the higher seeds holding serve,  the New York Jets earned a spot in the AFC Championship. Despite being on the road for the second week in a row the Jets found a “reason to believe.”

This despite the fact that the Jets won their final two regular season games against teams sitting out most of their starters. All that behind them, the Jets held the San Diego Chargers to half their season average of points in a 17-14 victory.

The Jets stopped the Chargers short of the goal line three times, and Nate Kaeding missed three field goals.

Mark Sanchez completed 12 of 23 passes including a two-yard touchdown pass to Dustin Keller, and Shonn Greene proved lightning can strike twice with a 53-yard tocuhdown run.

Greene had a 39-yard touchdown run against Cincinnati the week before.

“At the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe.”

Your own worst enemy has come to town

Next weekend sets up the possibility of the cruelest of ironies.

In week 15, Indy pulled its starters and gave up the possibility of perfection. The New York Jets were the direct beneficiary. Without that win, the Jets would NOT have qualified for the playoffs. How will the Colts handle the dream they have given birth to?

Brett Favre led the Packers to a victory in Super Bowl XXXI. The site of that game? The New Orleans Super Dome. Next week’s game between the Vikes and Saints returns Favre to a place where he is comfortable.

“There’s a face you know. Staring back from the shop window. The condition you’re in. Now you just can’t get out of this skin.”

Got any NFL splinters? Share them here.

By Paul Gotham

Roll of the dice

Much to the chagrin of all those looking to witness history, the Indianapolis Colts pulled the plug on their run to perfection. With a 9-3 lead at half, Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark …(anyone I forgot?) traded helmets on baseball caps, and the New York Jets handed Indy loss numero uno, 29-15.

Jim Caldwell went from relative anonymity to membership in the head coaching club. Congratulations coach! Welcome to a lifetime of second-guessing although it is unclear whether the decision was actually Caldwell’s. There has been some discussion suggesting that team president, Bill Polian, made the call.

Either way, the pressure is now squarely on the backs of the Colts. The only way these guys can make good on this decision is to win the Super Bowl. Anything short of a victory in Dolphin Stadium will serve as the ultimate Garbage Plate feast for Monday Morning Quarterbacks.

Dare I suggest that the Who would be an all the more appropriate half time show at the Super Bowl. In the event the Colts don’t advance, wise-crackin’ analysts will question Indy’s place in history by quoting the British Invasion band: “Who are you, who-who, who-who?”

What place in history does Curtis Painter take? Painter at least earned his spot as a trivia question of the future. Hopefully, Scott Norwood gave the Colt reserve QB a call to put everything in perspective.

“All my elevens and sevens been comin’ up sixes and nines…Been comin’ on changing times; they’re just waitin’ over rise; just another roll of the dice.”

Seeing the real you at last?

Consider this: in week 12 of the season, New Orleans soundly defeated New England, 38-17. At that point, the Saints had won nine of eleven games by double digits. Since then, the Saints are 2-2. The two wins: by three over the Washington Redskins and by three over the Atlanta Falcons.

The two losses? Losing to Dallas is understandable. But Tampa Bay? Let’s look at this one way. The Giants beat the Bucs, 24-0 in week three. A game where the Bucs did not get a first down until late in the third quarter.

Yesterday, the Bucs had 24 first downs to the Saints 23.

Have the Saints peaked? Is it possible for Drew Brees and company to rekindle the fire they had earlier this season? In the meantime, Cajun country will be crooning Bob Dylan.

“I’m hungry and I’m irritable, and I’m tired of this bag of tricks. At one time there was nothing wrong with me that you could not fix.”

Waiting in the wings

Now that the Colts and Saints have come back to earth, who will slip by the one time favorites.

San Diego dispatched a hot Tennessee Titan team, 42-17 (not that any of us would know since the game was on the NFL Network). The Titans had won six of seven. San Diego has now won 10 in a row.  Included in those victories – Philadelphia, Denver, Dallas, and Cincinnati. The Chargers have quietly made an assault on the light brigade. With Indy forfeiting momentum, is the door wide open for the Chargers?

Or, are the Patriots back in the picture? Tom Brady and Randy Moss looked pretty comfortable slicing up the Jacksonville Jaguars.

New Orleans needs a win over the resurgent Carolina Panthers to secure home-field advantage. Are NFC rivals intimidated by the Super Dome? The Saints two losses came in the heart of Cajun Country.

Philly and Arizona might have enough of a chip on the shoulder to continue the Saints’ woes.

Muddy Waters

One week remains and seven AFC teams are jockeying for two wild card spots. The Jets and Ravens hold their own destinies. Baltimore has to play the bi-polar Raiders next week. That is not good for Baltimore, as it could open the door. Denver, Houston, and Pittsburgh wait to pounce on the possible loss. Miami and Jacksonville have as much of a chance of getting into the playoffs as Tiger Woods earning the Better Homes and Garden father-of-the-year award.

The ties that bind

At one time given up for dead, the Jets are alive. A victory over the Bengals punches Mark Sanchez’s ticket to the playoffs.

“You walk cool…but can you walk the line.”

Three in a row

Don’t look now, but the Browns have not known losing since December sixth. Any day now the ius suffix will be re-attached to Mangini.

Un-comfortably numb

How else can one describe the performance of the New York Giants? With their playoff lives hanging in the balance, playing the Meadowlands swan song, the Giants  showed nothing, zilch, zippo.  Down 24-0 at half, the Giants promptly allowed the Panthers to take the second half kickoff and go 71 yards in four plays.

Somewhere along the line the Big Blue Wrecking crew forgot how to tackle, how to block, how to punt, how to run, how to pass, how to catch, and yes, they forgot how to show feeling. Did I miss anything?

Props to Carolina’s version of Steve Smith. The nine-year vet took a helmet to his left forearm, but still held on for the touchdown despite breaking his arm.

Ndamukong sweepstakes

At 1-14, the St. Louis Rams have positioned themselves for the first pick in the draft. Detroit is 2-13. Matt Millen is gone. Would the Lions pick Shu if given a chance? Are there any good wide receivers available?

Back to the Rams – Shu would join Chris Long – the team’s overall number one pick in ’08 – on the line. Long has had five sacks since November.

Monday night lights

Minnesota at Chicago – which Favre will show? The drama queen or the gun slinger? Some are still waiting for number 4 to go clunk.

Got any NFL splinters? Share them here.

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

By Paul Gotham

Saints and Vikings march on

Both New Orleans and Minnesota put their unbeaten records on the line yesterday. Both remained undefeated. The similarities end there.

The Saints rolled up 493 yards of total offense and left no doubt in trouncing the formerly undefeated New York Giants, 48-27. Brett Favre tossed three touchdowns, but it almost wasn’t enough as the Minnesota walked a thin line in defeating Baltimore, 33-31.

New Orleans took advantage of a home game after a bye week and fired on all cylinders. Seven different Saints marched into the end zone, Drew Brees threw four touchdowns giving him 101 with the Saints, and the New Orleans defense played stingy. Marques Colston (Hofstra) made 8 receptions for 166 yards including one touchdown.

Eli Manning completed just 14 passes while being intercepted once. The Giant offense lacked timing all day. That tends to happen when a team feasts on the likes of the Oakland Raiders, Kansas City Chiefs, and Washington Redskins.  New Orleans brought an entirely different pace than the aforementioned sisters of the poor.

New York hosts an Arizona team that resembled their Super Bowl participant selves in beating Seattle 27-3. New Orleans travels to Miami for an interesting date with wildcat offense of the Dolphins. Saint defense coordinator, Gregg Williams has developed schemes to disrupt passing attacks. Will the Saints figure out the rushing attack of the fish?

AP Photo/Tom Olmscheid

Six games played, and Brett Favre remains off the injury report. Whew! I am still reeling from Bill’s description of Favre’s pending downfall.   Favre completed 21-29 for 278 yards along with a 58-yard strike to Sidney Rice to set up the eventual winning field goal.  Minnesota unleashed a balanced attack. Are the Ravens still considered a vaunted defense? Adrian Peterson rushed for 143 yards. Despite the impressive numbers, Favre could only watch as Steve Hauschka’s field goal attempt sailed wide sealing the Minnesota victory.

The Vikes travel to Pittsburgh next week before heading to Green Bay – time to walk like men.

Not to be lost in the mix is the performance by Baltimore QB, Joe Flacco, who threw for 385 yards going 28 for 43.

Denver puts their unblemished record on the line tonight in San Diego. The Broncos have a bye next week before embarking on a gauntlet that will see rookie coach Josh McDaniels prepare his surprise crew for the Ravens, Steelers, Chargers, and Giants over five weeks.

Peyton Manning had the chance to rest his arm this week. Anyone want to take a guess as to Manning’s numbers next week in St. Louis? Wonder if he’ll get pulled at half if he hasn’t thrown for 300 yards.

Curse or Coincidence?

Not that I believe in voodoo or anything (or maybe I do since I am a Boston Red Sox fan), but it just seems very strange that the last time the Tennessee Titans won a game was …oh…let’s see…last year! And when I say last year, I don’t mean last season. I mean the last calendar year. Considering that the department stores are breaking out Christmas decorations, this streak of infamy is taking on a length of time.

Last December, the 21st to be exact, the Titans downed the Steelers, 31-14. That was the day LenDale White, Javon Kearse, and Keith Bulluck decided to do a little dance and make a little flub with ‘The Terrible Towel.’ The next week Tennessee lost 23-0, followed by a first-round playoff loss at home. The Titans are 0-6 this season. Which wouldn’t be so bad, except that they lost 59-0 yesterday. Is Jeff Fisher’s seat getting hot?

Oh yeah, in case you’re keeping track. Last week, the Lions’ mascot decided to stomp on the ‘Towel’ while the Lions were driving for a potential game-tying touchdown. You guessed it. The Lions didn’t tie the game, and this week they fell 26-0 to the Pack. Does Detroit need anymore misery?

One Step Up

…and two steps back. Mark Sanchez welcome to winter north of the Mason-Dixon line. Hey Kid! You’re not in SoCal anymore. We have varying weather conditions in these parts, and ya best get used to it.

Oh my, not sure if the Jets rookie “woke up this morning to a cold house,” but he sure has “been given some hard lessons lately.” Let’s put it this way – the Buffalo Bills defense had more catches yesterday than Terrell Owens. Munch on that one for a minute. T.O. made three catches yesterday. The Buffalo defense? They had six interceptions (five off Sanchez) as the Bills won in OT, 16-13. At times, the Jets rookie looked bothered by the wind in Giants Stadium. Oh boy, it’s gonna be a long season if that continues.

By the way, is there a new sheriff in Buffalo…uh…maybe deputy would be more appropriate…actually, sergeant sounds more fitting (no offense intended to those who wear the uniform)? Ryan Fitzpatrick came off the bench to replace the injured …what’s his name?…and threw for 116 yards. Not to mention a 40-yard attempt that was ruled incomplete…barely.

Got any NFL Splinters? Share them here.

AP Photo//Michael Conroy

By Paul Gotham

Tougher than the rest

Indianapolis, Denver, Minnesota, and the New York Giants continue on without defeat (New Orleans enjoyed the bye week also undefeated).

Minnesota’s decision to sign Brett Favre parted the waters. For right now, it looks like those in agreement were right. Of course there is much football to be played yet this season.  It is hard to imagine that Favre has never opened a season 5-0, yet that is the case.  Adrian Peterson scored two touchdowns as the Vikes topped the hapless Rams, 38-10.  Viking DE, Jared Allen recovered two fumbles – one he returned 52 yards for a touchdown.

AP Photo/Chris Schneider

What looked like an impending train wreck has become a runaway train in Denver. Josh McDaniels came to town an quickly showed quarterback, Jay Cutler, the door.  Then a rift with Brandon Marshall appeared to spell doom for the rookie coach. Those are all distant memories as the Broncos outlasted Tom ‘Terrific’ and the New England Patriots in OT, 20-17. Kyle Orton went 35-48 for 330 yards while Brady finished 19-33 for 215. Didn’t Orton struggle in Chicago? After key wins over the Pats and Dallas Cowboys, Denver’s gauntlet of a schedule continues with a Monday night affair at San Diego. After a bye week, the Broncos travel to Baltimore before hosting Pittsburgh.

Another week and another 300 yards for Peyton Manning. Another week and another six receivers pulling in passes. Joseph Addai led the way with 10 catches. Addai also rushed for a touchdown.  Manning joined Steve Young and Kurt Warner as the only quarterbacks to open the season with five consecutive 300 yard games.

The G-Men rolled over Oakland 44-7….yaaawwwwwwnnnnn. The season makes an abrupt shift for Eli and the boys when they travel to N’awlins next week. Philly, San Diego, Atlanta, and Denver loom in the distance.

Ahmad Bradshaw rushed for 110 yards and one touchdown.

Sniffing the scum from the pond

Tennessee, Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and St. Louis have all fallen to 0-5. KC and TB come as no surprise – rebuilding was a pre-season theme for those two organizations.  It seems like just yesterday we were singing the praises of  ”The Greatest Show On Turf.” That is long gone. The Titans just keep adding to Albert Haynesworth’s value.

6-3: Cleveland takes the battle of the inept

If someone were to quickly look at the box score for this game and see that Cleveland completed a mere two passes and was  out gained 288-193, one would have to think the Bills played a good game. Right?  Guess again. There is no way to describe this game other than U-G-L-Y…and there was no alibi.  Not even watching this game in the Anchor Bar on Main Street in Buffalo could make it look better. But the wings sure were good.

Dick Jauron can look on the bright side. If his hands get cold, he can sit on them. He won’t find a warmer seat.

Time to take notice

The Cincinnati Bengals racked up 403 yards of offense en route to a come-from-behind 17-14 victory over Baltimore.  The Ravens committed three penalties on the Bengals’ final drive. With the win, Cincinnati takes the top spot in the AFC North at 4-1. Baltimore falls into a tie with Pittsburgh at 3-2. Carson Palmer threw for 271 yards. Chad Johnson made nine receptions.

Monday Night Fight

If the New York Jets are to stay on top of the AFC East they will have to do it on the sod of Pro Player …errr….Landshark Stadium. Rex Ryan’s defense will need to slow a Miami ground attack that’s getting 183 yards per game. A Miami win will put three teams within one game in the division.

Mark Sanchez won’t need to “drive that dusty road from Monroe to Angilene.” But he will have to “Prove It All Night.”

Got any NFL Splinters? Share them here.