Another Rant from the Couch

by Bill Ribas

As Alex Rodriguez approaches the 600 mark for home runs, I thought, man, this arrogant, overpaid player, it’s not right, it’s not fair. To be honest, I don’t know the man, never met him, and until he signed a jaw dropping contract, never really thought too much about him. Oh yeah, he was a good player, I knew that, but he was out on the Mariners, and as you readers may know, I’m a Mets fan, so, eh, he didn’t bother me, I didn’t bother with him. Then the whole steroid thing came along, with grown men lying and crying like kids, pointing fingers elsewhere, it wasn’t me, despite before and after pictures of so many that looked like Keebler Elves had morphed into Lou Ferrigno body types, and frankly, guys usually bloat in the gut first (just check my mirror, for example), and like all baseball scandals, it eventually quieted down, and now no one really talks about it.

But then it got me thinking, it’d be easy to chart out his homers against fellas already in the 600 club (and that’s a short list). Surely, that would show something definitive about his use of drugs, and then I could sneer with glee and say, yeah, just like Canseco said, A-Rod is a punk, took drugs, and isn’t deserving of a stool at the 600 bar. Well, the results are a bit different than I suspected.

In the chart at left, you’ll see a comparison between A-Rod and Willie Mays (there’s a gap in Willie’s line because he didn’t play a year). The chart compares dingers from age 20 to 34, and as you can see, there are certain similarities between the two. Both start with an initial drop, and then spike upwards. After a few years, both show a drop off before coming back strong. A-rod’s numbers drop later in part because of injury, while Willie’s go upwards. They’re close, and you cold make the case that in A-Rod’s 20′s, he might have been juicing.

Something interesting occurs, though, when we look at A-Rod versus Hank Aaron. While there is still a large bump in A-Rod’s 20′s, the lines are almost too similar to distinguish from one another. Aaron doesn’t suffer from making it to the majors, as his numbers shoot up from the beginning. Yet both seem to level off for a few years (well, level off is misleading; the numbers are still higher than the average player), and then drop before heading toward the sky again. Also interesting is the drop off in the early 30′s.

Here’s the really shocking visual though, and that’s A-Rod versus Babe Ruth. The Babe seemed positively dormant until age 24 when he knocked out 29 homers (A-Rod hit 41). But what happens after that, as the graph shows is ridiculously stunning. I don’t have to tell you to look over at the graph, don’t have to give you numbers, because by now you’ve probably sworn under your breath, and have come to the same conclusion as I have. A-Rod really is that good. Had he not been injured, my guess is while his total may have been higher, he might have paralleled the Babe even further along the chart. Because for about 7 years there, A-Rod and the Babe are neck and neck.

What does all this mean? Well, it means I still am not a big fan of A-Rod, but I have to give him his due. As for totals, well, up to age 34, A-rod is at 594, and Babe is at 516 (and just for the record, in his next 3 years, Babe hits 49, 46, and 41 homers. Which would make things real interesting). One thing we can pretty much assume though is that Babe Ruth wasn’t taking steroids or growth hormone or whatever. One thing the two do seem to have in common is enjoying life outside of baseball, as stories abound about Ruth, and well, A-Rod has been linked to Madonna, so maybe there’s something along those lines.

Now A-Rod just took a shot to the hand, and may not hit number 600 for a few days, but there is no doubt he will hit it, and then hit some more. And yeah, there are a ton of questions that will never be answered, like did steroid use contribute to his injury, what would his numbers been had he not used, does Canseco still want to kill him for hitting on his wife, and so on. And while the comparisons don’t make me dislike him, they do force me to nod my head, ever so slightly in his direction for his accomplishments. For now though, I’ll get back to my stumbling Mets, assured by their performance that no one on that team is taking performance enhancing drugs, and if they are, they need to find a new dealer.

Casey: Mr. Ruth I gotta say you look great.

Ruth: Casey please call me Babe. Yeah – this heaven thing is all it’s cracked up to be. When I left this earthly existence, Presto! I also left behind the throat cancer and everything else that was crawling around inside me.

Casey: Mr. Ruth did you say heaven?

Ruth: (chuckling) I know it’s hard to believe, but I am flying with the angels. And please call me Babe.

Casey: Oh right. Wow! If you can pull off heaven, I guess the rest of us should be all right?

Ruth: (continuing to laugh) It might not be that easy. See I had a few things working in my favor. When I got up to the pearly gates, there was Saint Pete waiting for me. He pulled out my ledger. I’m not gonna lie. As he perused the numbers, his brow furled a little in amazement. Seemed as if I had more than my fair share of Hail Marys said for me. Then it dawned on me – all the priests back in the orphanage said they would pray for me because I needed it. I didn’t take them seriously until St. Pete welcomed me in. So you see all those Novenas they are worth something.

Casey: That’s good to know. Would you mind answering a few questions?

Ruth: Shoot. I haven’t had an interview in about 65 years (smiles).

Casey: What do you think about the modern players using supplements and steroids and surpassing your numbers?

Ruth: Ah hogwash! They are players. They are competitors. Competitors are always looking for an advantage. You know you do a lot of preaching on that Clipboard of yours about the virtues of sports. Let me tell ya. The only virtue in sport is beating the next guy. You better come down off that soap box of yours before it becomes lather and you tumble off it.

Casey: Babe, wait. Did you say the Clipboard?

Ruth: Yeah.

Casey: You read the Clipboard?

Ruth: Of course I do. I am a sports fan aren’t I? I keep up with all the action going on down here. You guys got it working on that site. That guy Wally tells it like it is. He’s a straight shooter, and I love his Fightin’ Irish commentary. And Reynell with his On the Pitch work? I was never much of a fan of the ‘Beautiful Game’, but since OTP I find myself tuning in to 212 on a regular basis. Then there’s Smitty with his views on the world of sports. That guy is always good for a chuckle. Nice stuff with that Frozen Pond Diary too. I love reading about the prospects coming up through the system.

Casey: That’s great to know. Do you read any other stuff on a regular basis?

Ruth: Oh yeah. One thing we have plenty of in heaven is time. I love that guy Chas with his stuff on Left Field. It’s great how he mixes in the music commentary. I’m a Neil Young lover myself, so I dig his stuff. Of course I read Seamheads, Sox and Dawgs, Boston Sports Rants, and Sox and Pinstripes to name a few.

Casey: I never would have guessed. Since you brought up the Pinstripes – what do you think about the move into the new stadium?

Ruth: I guess it had to happen. It just doesn’t make sense. Did I miss something? When did all of these luxuries become a necessity at a baseball game? Too much about the event and not enough about the game. 21st century baseball is becoming a carnival with all of these gimmicks. Give me batting practice and some hard-nosed play, and that’s all a person should need. If they want a party, tell ‘em to go to the local 6 Flags or something.

Casey: I agree. What do you make of the ’08 Yanks?

Ruth: Ya know I could see it coming. When they won #26, the lineup included guys like Martinez, Brosius, and Williams – guys who put the team first. Since then the front office seems intent on grabbing headlines with their acquisitions. How much are they paying Rodriguez? And how many post-season RBI does he have? But that’s all right. I got faith in this Girardi kid. He’ll right the ship.

Casey: Funny you mention the acquisitions – how do you feel about Giambi being nicknamed the ‘Giambino’?

Ruth: I pay it no attention. I can’t be bothered with that horse ca-ca.

Casey: What do you think about this year’s league championships?

Ruth: I love how Torre’s having success in L.A.. Joe’s a good guy. He’s a baseball guy. He knows how to let his players play. I always liked a manager who gave us some freedom. Miller Huggins let us play. That’s why the ’27 team was so good.

Casey: Since you mentioned the ’27 team, I read an article recently where a writer claimed the ’39 team was better than your ’27 version. What do you think of that?

Ruth: Let them talk all they want. That ’39 team was good – don’t get me wrong . But they didn’t have Waite Hoyt. If we played them head-to-head – in a seven game series – Hoyt would go 4 times. The guy was that strong. And he was that much of a competitor. He just did not know fatigue. But back to this year – the Sox better be careful with the Rays. Tampa doesn’t know any better. Yeah Boston has experience working for them, but Tampa is young and foolish. They are gonna take chances because it doesn’t matter to them, and those chances will pay off.

Casey: There are some that suggest you and Manny Ramirez have something in common. That you both sandbagged, so you could get out of Boston.

Ruth: (chuckling) I wish I could be that smart. Sandbagged? I don’t know what advantage that would have given me. I’m not gonna lie Boston is a helluva sports town. Even back then there was a lotta pressure to win. But there was no advantage for me to leave. Besides, I loved New England Clam Chowda – that Manhattan stuff just doesn’t do it for me. Manny on the other hand? Manny had some motivation. If you don’t think that guy Boras had something to do with his behavior, you’re crazy. It’s just disappointing that a grown man would act like that. Doesn’t he realize he is nothing more than a puppet on a string?

Casey: Good point.

Ruth: Yeah, but that guy can hit. Did you see that poke at Wrigley? That pitch was a foot out of the strike zone. Listen I gotta run. I gotta date. But before I go – when am I gonna get a spot on the Who am I?

Casey: I’ll get ya in – just not much of a challenge? Everyone knows you.

Ruth: You’ll figure something out.

Casey: Did you say a date?

Ruth: I did mention I was in heaven – right?