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Sarah Palin and the Palm Readers
"Shoot at the middle rim."
By Patrick ‘Rey’ Reynell
Sarah Palin, former Governor of Alaska and vice-presidential candidate, has caught some criticism at a recent convention for apparently writing notes on her left hand. Who knows what she really recorded on the all-natural notepad. Perhaps some notes to not forget in her speech or maybe just a reminder of what to do or not to do.
This got me thinking about athletes and their struggles in front of the microphone. Some could use their own notes so they stop putting their figurative foot in their mouth, while others could use some reminders to not repeat bad behavior. So I wonder: what notes and reminders would some athletes write on their palms?
Shaquille O’Neal, Cleveland Cavaliers center at the free throw line: “Shoot at the rim in the middle.”
Jim Caldwell, Indianapolis Colts coach: “Game face at all times.”
Greg Oden, Portland Trail Blazers center: “Don’t tick off former g/fs w/ cameras.”
Danica Patrick, newest NASCAR driver: “Walk away from ‘rear-ending’ jokes.”
Alexander Ovechkin, Washington Capitals: “Do NOT forget front tooth today.”
Rick Barnes, University of Texas basketball coach: “Call NCAA about Kevin’s eligibility.”
John Wall, University of Kentucky freshman point guard: “I love playing for Coach Cal.”
Larry Drew, UNC point guard: “Order transcripts for transfer.”
Roy Williams, UNC basketball coach: “Order transcripts for Larry Drew.”
John Terry, Chelsea and England national team midfielder: “Stop answering Victoria Beckham’s calls.”
Pete Rose, MLB all-time hits leader: “Deny Deny Deny … ‘I’m sorry.’”
Mark McGwire, former single season HR record holder: “I’m not here to talk about the past.”
Tiger Woods, pro golfer: Right hand: “I’m here to talk about golf” Left Hand: “Don’t answer John Terry’s calls.”
Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings QB: “I ________ be back.”
Pete Carroll, Seattle Seahawks coach: “Call Calipari – thank him for advice.”
Got any additions? Let ‘The Pine’ hear ‘em!
24 Responses to “Sarah Palin and the Palm Readers”
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Follow Pickin’ Splinters on:
Tim Lincecum: “Remember to take goldenseal supplement 24 hrs. before my next urine test.
Chris Johnson (if anyone caught his Jim Rome interview a few weeks back): “Stop skipping NFL rookie orientation courses where they teach you to talk about yourself humbly”
Lance Armstrong: “Call Sheryl. Beg forgiveness. Ask her if she’ll take me back.”
Daniel Snyder: Mike Shanahan knows more about football then I do.
Johnny Damon: “Next time the Yankees offer a two-year deal, take it.”
Jason Bay: I miss Fenway..
Mike Vick : “Animal abuse is a crime.”
Rick Pitino: “I love my job in Lou’ vul.”
Plaxico Burress: I should really double check the safety on the gun.
hahahahaha
Bobby Bowden: “I’m completely bumfuzzled by these latest sanctions … I didn’t know my players were cheating in school, I just thought they were sharing well with the other students. What’s the world coming to when you can’t borrow relevant information? Anyway, I told my kids to stay away from those tests … and look what we got.”
Mike Brey: “You mean we need to play DEFENSE, too ?!?!”
Peyton Manning: “First of all, you’ve got to give the Saints credit. Now with respect to us … we win as a team and we lose as a team. Now, I’m not sayin’ … but I’m just sayin’ … if Reggie Wayne woulda just done his freakin’ job … and if Stover makes that freakin’ kick … and if the coaches didn’t call that freakin’ running play on 3rd and goal … and if … “
University of Texas A.D., DeLoss Dodds: “The University of Texas is proud to be a part of the Big 12.”
Terrell Owens: “I’m just goin with the plays that are called”
A-Rod- “We didn’t know what we were doing”
Derrick Rose: ” I can honestly say I passed my SAT’s myself”
Lane Kiffin: “Stay out of Tennessee”
Allen Iverson: “cover your tattoo’s”
Jimmy Clausen: “Dirty looks to upset fans in bars can cause black eyes”
I really like the Plaxico line in the comments too. Plaxico, if you are going to go to jail for 2 years, shoot someone you don’t like.
Jim Boeheim: “(Continue to sandbag) Tell everyone we’re terrible.”
Jose Canseco: “Call someone a liar”
Ralph Wilson: “Convince everyone that Gailey was my first choice”
You play to win the game!
Andy Roddick: “After next loss, look at SI swimsuit cover.”
Peyton Manning and Bobby Bowden must have some HUGE hands, Wally.
Rey – Helmet Sticker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rey –
Good one! They used both hands, top and bottom.
True to an extent, which is a big piece of the reason the Conservatives started departing the Republicans a whole decade ago, or at the very least ceased voting for their nominees. Im fairly conservative, but no way was I going to vote for a Bush or McCain. All The Same, the Presidency simply has so much force – they CANNOT pass and a more exact assesment of expenditure comes from looking at who is running the House and Senate, not the White House. The Obamabots are making a distinction when it becomes them as their President struggles to act out his agenda, and the Bushies did the same when the spot was reversed later in his Presidency.